Brighten the Corners

captain?

2006-11-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

Why is Han Solo a captain? He's not in the rebel fleet or anything like that, but yet he is a captain. And Vader and Luke are the only ones that recognize his rank. So what does that make Chewbacca?

Please leave...and leave the saw with us

2006-10-13T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm back from New Orleans...friggin' awesome trip. I'll get some pictures up eventually.
Now when I came back and turn on the tele, I see this Home Depot commercial. It shows this guy shopping with his wife and he's explaining to her what she should envision with the tools he wants. God help me if I ever need to ask permission to buy a tool...just stick me in the ground then and there. But it reminded me of what I always say..."some people don't belong in home centers." One of the first tools he picks up is a circular saw and tells his wife "honey, just think of this as a new deck!"
These are signs that these people shouldn't be in these places because he didn't buy a square or a measuring tape. The whole store is set up for a man’s willpower failing. Power tools are great, but if you don't know the technique they just make a bunch of dust. What's the first thing you see when you walk into these places? Lawn mowers. Not just any lawn mower either, but one that you could technically start farming with. What the hell do you need 100 horsepower for if you only need to mow .5 acres? And a headlight! Who the hell mows there grass at night! George Jones would have found this helpful. (I'll get to the lawn mower story in a minute) The first sign that you don't need to be in this place is if you actually contemplate buying a small tractor when you first get there. Some of the signs of this are drooling and a loss of speech control.
Now they put the books near the return desk for a reason. They're saying "hey! maybe you should read one of these and buy yourself a tape measure while your returning the stuff you didn't need in the first place."
Now I'm going to start treading into the taboo area of the difference of the sexes momentarily. Some woman say that only a man could have designed a bra...well only a woman could have designed Home Depot. Look how it’s all set up. All around the store there are subtle hints that say “you should think about what you are doing.” Just like women...subtle hints, but like those subtle hints, we're not going to see them because they are either masked by something we’re really not interested in or we just can't find them. But the Achilles Heel of a man is his manhood and threatening that manhood can get you a few things. Now don’t go out threatening all the manhood you can find because it can backfire on you. This is why men get so mad when you say, "why don't you just call somebody." It’s true that almost 95% of the time someone who knows what they are doing should be called, but said man is not going to want to hear that. So the designers know this about home centers. They know the first thing a guy wants is a power tool...and they know that it has to be the noisiest most useless one there. Take the sawzall for instance. Unless you tearing something down, or are doing some really rough work to get ready for the finish work, you don’t need one. A sawzall is not a precise tool. But its big, noisy, and it will shake you pretty good as you utter “Oh yeah…sawzall.” There is a reason its called a sawzall…it saws everything with a vengeance. Look at the aisle the tools are on…they are a different color than the other aisles and they have better lighting. They know you want it. And look at the colors of the tools…that’s no accident. It’s a bright color that’s easy to find. Contractors can find it easy on a job and non-mechanical men can find it in the store.
Now the ladies that design all of this know that the guy, that doesn’t belong in there, will want one of these items: circular saw, sawzall, cordless drill, and either a jigsaw or a router. More than likely it’s the jigsaw. The cordless drill is pretty harmless…they can’t do much damage with that, and about the only thing that they will use that 18-volt hammer drill is put up a 9-ounce picture frame. Now the jigsaw and circular saw are going to require a trip over to the lumber section. Does anyone else find it strange that there are so many items for building a deck over there? That last aisle in Home Depot has concrete, treated wood, railings, and stuff to make a walkway with. The whole aisle reeks of deck…and that guy knows it. Out comes the cart with the rattley wheel and some more hints are dropped along the way…”here’s a tape measure. It sure comes in handy. And here’s a square…you want your deck to be square don’t you?”
So know your husband/other half has a saw and shitload of wood and damnit he aims to use it all. And here’s the next hint. You ever wonder why there is a contractor’s entrance? Its so those people who don’t belong will mingle and get to know the person that will be called after they screw up. Like a wounded fish in a sea of sharks.
Now the paint aisle is all about the ladies. It is easy to find everything you need there and there are tons of helpful hints for your painting projects. And look at the color names of the paints…spring blossom, apple skin, pumpkin meadow butterfly, crème de violin. Men see white, black, and either a light or dark of blue, red, and green. Most men won’t admit to liking yellow and they sure won’t like pink (even though I’ve seen at least 50 pink shirts on guys today alone).
Men hate to paint unless they are getting paid for it. I’ve seen many happy couples pushed the point of wanting to kill over having to paint a room. I’ve heard people say “Oh! We could never get that mad at each other!” Get a couple of gallons of paint and then call me three days later…eventually, you’ll break.
Now the aisle with the caulk is big for two reasons. One is because those tubes are hard to find sometimes, and two because this is the fix all goop that people (notice I said people this time) rely on to fix what they screwed up. Got a gap? Put some caulk in it. Got a loose tile? Put some caulk around it. Handle fell off a pot? Put some caulk on it.
There are so many reasons why these stores are designed the way they are and it all comes down to this. Its set up so men are distracted and spend oodles money on stuff they don’t need, while the ladies are there to keep them in check. So here is the list of things that you should get your non-mechanically inclined husbands.

-Measuring tap
-Level
-Speed square
-Couple of screwdrivers
-A hammer
-Handsaw

The measuring tape will provide hours of entertainment as he tries to see how far he can extend this without the tape breaking (guys know exactly what I’m talking about). The level will provide more entertainment after the tape has lost its charm because he will now go and level everything in the house at least twice. The square won’t provide much entertainment but it will get him thinking about what is square and what isn’t. Think of this more as a training device for when he feels that he can take on a spice rack. Actually this tool could be kind of dangerous because he may sneak out and buy the circular saw. Better get him one small enough that he can’t do much damage with. The screwdrivers will fulfill the need to fix things because the screws are already in place and all he has to do is tighten them. He may try to trick you into thinking that more needs to be done, but this is only an attempt to get a trip to Lowe’s for that circular saw sale. Everybody needs a hammer…you just do. Now the handsaw is an important one. Unless you really like working with handtools, the handsaw is going to break him of the want to build anything. Handsaws you buy from Lowe’s are dull and not really that fun to use. If you really want to instill a sense that woodworking is hard and tedious, get him a ripsaw. This is one of the two kind of handsaws…ones a rip, ones a cross cut. Cutting against the grain with a ripsaw will be sure to extinguish all flames of wanting to build anything.

Remember…Lowe’s and Home Depot are fun and they both have NASCARs, but if you have trouble with the concept of a hammer and nail, maybe you should stay at home.

Steady diet of nothing

2006-09-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

I am chewing through toothpicks like the antidote is in them! I miss smoking but I don't want to have to go through this shit again. The thing is that this isn't the worst of it yet. At least I don't think it is...
So thank god I get to scream into a mic tonight!

I ain't learnin' nothin'

2006-09-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

I was watching football last week, which is so odd in itself it’s scary. I think the quarterback for the Steelers had an appendectomy and they showed a gray’s anatomy type picture on the screen of where the appendix is located and the type of surgery that the guy had. It’s like they are trying to sneak learning into people that watch TV, which is a good thing because there are plenty of morons out there that need a little book learnin’. I can’t wait for the day that they decide to sneak projectile motion and a little impulse-momentum into baseball games.

Cabinet building mofo

2006-09-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve quit smoking and either the normal stressful that always happen are getting to me or there is just more stress. Well this really isn’t stress but it pissed me off. I go to this party over in Shandon and it’s a pretty nice spread. Whoever the caterer was should feed me daily. She got the roast to be rare in the middle! This guy had some pretty cool stuff…old prints of 5 Points, a confederate flag that was flown over the capital, and this really cool sleigh bed that I’m going to copy. So I’m eating the chicken and mingling with the rich when the owners mom overheard me say that I was a carpenter. I should have said craftsman but that’s beside the point. She asked me to come out and give her an estimate on a big storage cabinet and I said sure. Then she asks me for a card and I told her that I work as an engineer but I would be glad to still build this cabinet for her. Then she tells me “you shouldn’t pass yourself off as something you’re not.” Then she walks off to go and mingle with her sewing circle and I’m just thinking “fuck you!” What a snotty person! I can’t work for somebody like that.

In on the kill taker

2006-09-20T09:39:00.000-07:00

I've got Long Distance Runner stuck in my head from Fugazi's Red Medicine. This usually happens around this time where I dig out all of the fugazi discs I have (all of them) and then go into a DIY DC post punk phase. But the thing is I have always listened to them. I have favorites but this band will always be at the top of my list. Like Long Distance Runner...this is one of the most powerful songs that I've ever heard from them. Even if you don't listen to the words, the song can pull you into itself. The breakdown is what really gets me. Just the bass playing the melody and the lines being sung. Then the snare cracks and starts the machine back up. What really sucks though is that my Red Medicine CD is scratched (I won't get in to who scratched it here) but its skips on that song! To me that's like owning a Rosenquist and cutting a gash in it. OK, maybe not that bad...

Speaking of art I was looking up some old propaganda art from World War II. I love this stuff! Kind of like the nose art from another post. I wonder why we don't have propaganda like this today? Oh wait...we do. It's called Fox. Anyway I found this guy called Fritz the Firebomb. Funny how someone took a terror of war and turned it into something that people would laugh at. I mean if you look at it, it's intent was to be humorous. Kind of like if Fritz was getting kick in the ass by a giant boot or something like that. I'm going to go and try to find some modern propaganda now...

Event Horizon

2006-09-18T14:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was in Publix and I noticed something about their signs that are above the aisles. The signs don’t match what is actually on the aisles. This is how it is in my Publix anyways. On the aisle with the toothpaste and soap there is a picture of a cooked shrimp. On the dog food aisle there is a picture of a baby. I wonder what foreign people who can’t speak English think of this. “Aisle three has babies for sale?”

I had this idea for a painting that I will never do and I decided to look up the picture. That high speed picture with the bullet being shot through an apple would look really cool in a long, giant painting.

While I was looking it up though I also found this:

It’s a high speed shot of an atomic explosion from 1952. Strange when you look at it. Almost like a picture of deep space. Something that you could only imagine could happen. How did they feel when they built that thing? Knowing that you have made something that can vaporize life in a millisecond. Kind of a downer really..

So here's what should make us all cheery and happy for the day. Its talk like a pirate day! Arrrrrrggghhhhh...bitches.

Good Morning Vietnam...

2006-09-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

I was sitting there eating lunch today and these two guys across from me were talking about Vietnam. Guy A starts talking about hammocks and sandals (I believe he called them “Ho Chi Mein” sandals) and the way that the North Vietnamese would dress in the field. Now he was telling this story of how they would come up onto camps in the jungle and there would be these hammocks and sandals all around. I’m not sure why these would be out there with no people in them, but according to him they were. So some people would take these things back to their base. This guy gets an idea. They get some cloth together and made a NVA flag and took some of the hammocks out back and shot holes in them. Then they would take pig’s blood and throw it on the hammocks and sandals. Viola…instant war trophies, as grotesque as that is. So they would throw a few of these in their packs and walk through the town where the base was. Now he said “Airman” so I’m assuming they were targeting the Air Force. One of the airmen would see the flag sticking out of the pack and then he would ask if he could buy it from the guy. He would sell it and then walk around the corner and pull out another pair of the sandals and a flag they threw together out of scrap cloth…stained in pig’s blood. Got to hand it to the entrepreneurial spirit of the US.

Another Vietnamese scam was actually Fender Guitars. There were these Vietnamese knock offs of Fender Stratocasters that GI’s would buy over there. I can’t find a picture of one but they are out there and they these really bad bridges on them.

They have electricity now, you know...

2006-08-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

My lathe is almost done! The whole apparatus is up and the shaft that Meredith and company were so gracious to machine for me, is in place. Now all I need to do is to cut the flywheel and make a crankshaft for the treadle. Now the picture isn’t mine but it is actually where I got the idea. I'll get mine on here as soon as I'm done with it. Now this thing is all human powered so I’m probably going to have one giant leg after using it for a while. And seeing as how I have the whole hairy hippy thing going on at the moment, patchouli scented earth friendly human powered woodworking tools will fit right in with the theme. For those of you that don’t know what a lathe is, its a tools that been around for damn near forever and makes things like spindles and bowls. Its spins the wood around an axis and then you place a tool next to the spinning wood. It will then make whatever that is...round. I’m not interested in spindles at the moment... for that matter I don’t think that I even like spindles. Too gingerbready for me. I want to make these...they’re called stave drum shells and I’ve got a blank at home that has been collecting dust. Imagine that you are down on the top of a drum. Now imagine that the cylinder is a twenty-sided polygon. You know what...its just easier to say that I’m going to make drum shells on a lathe that I built.

In a dream

2006-08-29T10:05:00.000-07:00

I had this crazy dream last night. I was in New York...but it didn't look anything like NY. There was this long street in the desert that had crosswalks flashing "walk" and buildings that I wouldn't exactly call tall. Now this is the same place that has been in some of my other dreams for a while. Sometimes its a vast landscape of nothing but buildings...sometimes there is water in the streets. Other times there is this giant carnival going on. Its always the same location though. At least it feels that way. So in the dream I'm walking down this street and the people with me are telling me this is NY. I kept saying, it doesn't really look like NY. Then all of a sudden I'm in this apartment up there and its mine, and I'm supposed to move out that day. But there is a whole in the wall and the paints coming off of places and I have to fix it. Now at this point the dream is vivid and waking up to Lounge (Closing Time) from Modest Mouse kind of makes it worse. So I wake up thinking that I have to move out as quick as I can and fix whatever is borken in a day. Made me really stressed out this morning.

Oodles of Noodles

2006-08-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

I've got a lot write and catch up on but I just haven't had any time. So, just a thought from last night for right now. I've got a lot of burned CD's and sometimes they might get confused with a CD that has data on it. So instead of it saying "no data on CD" or whatever your player says, what if they put a track on those data CDs that tells you there nothing on it. Except instead of some computer sounding thing its actors and other famous folk. Say you had one with Red Foxx on it "There ain't nothin' on this CD you big dummy!" or maybe even the cookie monster "there nothing on this cd!" Maybe even have one with Grover. it would be this simple little thing that might brighten up your day instead of feeling like "damnit! I put in a data CD!" Now a lot of you are probably going to say "Why don't you just label them and then you wouldn't to do this." To which I say, "why are they putting TV's in refrigerators?"

I want an anvil

2006-08-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

Not just any anvil...I want a Peddinghaus Anvil. Now I have no place for this beast at the moment but when I do I'm just going to heat up metal and hammer it for the hell of it. Granted I want to learn how to forge steel into massive pieces of art, but just in the beginning, I want to heat up a piece of steel, hammer it on 200+ pounds of german goodness, and then plunge it into water to hear that satisfying hiss.

Charlie the Tuna

2006-08-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

I love nostalgia like a fiend and I found something that I thought was interesting. In an effort to save money I have resorted to my old friend tuna fish. It last forever, its cheap, and only contains a slight hint of mercury. Anyway, I grab my can of Starkist and I'm walking to go dump the fish water out of the can when I see Charlie. I didn't realize his name until I asked my office neighbor. Now I know his name is Charlie and I wondered where he came from. I always wanted to know why he sounded like he was from NY...now I know. Tom Rogers created Charlie and he worked on the Keebler Elves and also Morris the Cat. Makes my talking walrus idea not so crazy...maybe it would be good for a shaving commercial. I think a tuba should be playing in the background. Alright back to the tuna. Charlie was based on a friend of Tom's that he was hanging around during the beat scene in NY. Hence the beret and thick rimmed glasses. Through all of this I found out that Tom Rogers died last year...by drowning in his pool. Is this tragic irony? You created a tuna that can walk and talk like a man...in this exchange shouldn't you be able to swim like crazy. Sure that would be a world with talking walrus and you could switch place with a tuna, but wouldn't that be fun?
I found out in the artical that he also worked on the P-61 "Black Widow". One of the forst planes specifically designed to fight at night. This is something else that I love...planes. Now this is irony because I'm the worst flier ever. White knuckles the whole way. But I still love them. That and nose art from WWII. I could probably fall asleep to the sound of an old propeller engine.

The last year

2006-08-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm turning 29 tomorrow...the last year of my 20's. My 30's are going to be the 20's with money. I'm going to get to travel and do all kinds of things I couldn't afford to do in my 20's. At 39 I want to cycle the Champs-Elysees...sure there'll be a ton of cars trying to run me over, but it'll fun.
Anyway, yesterday I was in Horry County, home of the redneck riviera, Myrtle Beach, and I saw this painting in the clients office. It was two business men that were shaking hands...one of the business men was Jesus. It was the craziest painting...mostly because its the "white dude" Jesus, but also because the two guys were in business suits and Jesus was in his robes. Hang what you want but I think its strange that people see that painting and are okay with it, but when they look at the Dali prints I have in my office they assume its this drug induced painting tyrade of a pagan...and Dali was a Catholic. Lots of his paintings include saints and of course Jesus. But not Jesus during a business meeting. Can you imagine Jesus as a car salesman? I really hope he laughs of some of this because somebody already told me I was going to hell this morning.

Potential Invention?

2006-08-02T13:58:00.000-07:00

Picture an inflatable "you" and when you were late for work an alarm would go off when you were supposed to be there and then this "you" would inflate ever so quietly fooling the clock watchers of your office. Wouldn't that be great?

All Systems Red

2006-07-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

I've listened to this song from Calexico quite a few times but I never caught this line that can cut so deep. hear your heart that's breaking without a choice. The whole thing is absoultely awesome and I highly recommend it.

Johnson the intern

2006-07-31T08:13:00.000-07:00

Lots of people wonder how I think…I don’t really know why though. I’ll admit I am pretty random and that sometimes it seems like my thoughts are going 90 MPH, but should my brain be sent off for study? Flattering as that is, I started to wonder how I think. How I process things day to day. It seems that my brain has a query button that is always on and anything can trigger it at any minute. Even while I’m talking to someone and paying attention its going off. Like if you say peace lily I think of these big planters they had in the mall of my hometown. They were perfect examples of late seventies architecture. The sides were sloped at 45 degrees and it made them perfect for riding a skateboard on. Even in that sentence I just got a flood of thoughts. They aren’t even really big thoughts that would change the world or anything. Just small things like what the asphalt smelled like in the summertime when I skated. What the river sounded like when I was hiking to it to go fishing. Its been mentioned that I seem to talk about the past a lot. I do that. I just don’t want anyone to think that I live there. When you are constantly looking for answers your body responds. Its kind of like the intern that you boss around. “Johnson! Go get me this file!” Off he runs to find it…meanwhile you’ve forgotten what you asked for it in the first place. When it arrives you send him out to find the question that goes with it. Eventually he gets sick of running back and forth and not knowing what you want that he starts bringing you anything. Responding to just a hint about what you’re looking for, like “the way a river sounds”. Off he goes to get everything that involves a river. So that’s my attempt to explain why I have random thoughts of the past and not the future. The past is the only thing in the database that the intern can get too. Maybe thoughts of the future are just his dreams at his desk when he gets bored bringing you files. His doodles are you dreams at night. The more I write this stuff down the crazier it sounds sometimes.

Grease...Just more lubrication for blood.

2006-07-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

I eat pretty bad sometimes. Not all the time, but when I do I'm a coronary waiting happen. Speaking of which I missed yet another health screening at work mostly because I didn't really think about it and the fact that I'm the biggest weenie when it comes to needles. Seriously I have to lay down for them to take the blood out of because I'm afraid I might pass out. This is strange because I'm a craftsman and the inherent dangers of working with sharp tools is getting. I've been gouged, sliced, splintered, and hammered a few fingers but I can't take a little needle. Probably the location of where it is. Why they have to take it from the most sensitive part of your arm I will never know. Its not like these are the only veins in your body! So back to eating bad and why I'm talking about it. The Waffle House has this chicken sandwich that I really like and the one down the street from work has some of the sassiest waitresses out of all of them. One of them even has at least four gold teeth up front, so you know she's hardcore. So I'm sitting there waiting for chicken heaven on a plate when they start talking about there kids. One of them said that they had their kid trained so good that if they were misbehaving all they had to do was whisper. This is not the approach that her partner in this conversation would take. Nope she prefers a more direct method of discipline. To quote her, "If you don't stop what you are doin' and irritatin' me I will kick you in tha back of yo' throat!" Now I know this is not what she means at all, but you have to admit that a lady with four gold teeth demonstrating her skills as a parent like this is funny.
My dad was a football coach and he taught a little class called shop. Yelling at us was as natural as drinking when you're thirsty. So when people have the urge to yell at me, it doesn't phase me a bit. Because compared to my father, they're amateurs.

Built for Spills

2006-07-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Now this might be boring for some of you but I think that its awesome. I love history and I love tools. Those that know me know that it is a small obsession…OK big obsession (and also to those that know me, know that I can’t tell a story without jumping all over the place like a kid who lost his medication). Tools are some of the most fascinating things! And they are so linked to the history of the world. Major periods of human existence are separated by the tools that were used. The stone age, the bronze age, the iron age…
I was reading about a tool called a spill plane. I had no idea what a spill was until I yahoo’d it. That’s right…yahoo! I have defied the great google master of the north. Anyway a spill is a curled shaving of wood that was used to transfer a flame. Before matches these were important little things. You could even barter with them at the tavern if you wanted (I wish I could get beer for a handful of sticks). What a spill plane did was shave off these little curly pieces of wood for use around the house. Now you gotta have something to put these things in. What to use? What about a spill vase? These were found all over the house next to fireplaces and would hold those little shavings for when they need to be used. All of this before the advent of matches.
I’ve got so many tools and so many tools that I want to get that I’ll probably give a list of tools to my widow to pick up and bury beside me. I want to be buried underneath my workshop actually…better yet I want a replica built underground that I’m put to rest in. Kind of like a pharaoh…except with tools.
Anyway I’m going to try and make some planes in the next couple of months. A lot like this guy over at Anderson planes that makes some really awesome tools. He’s returning to the day when the tool was treasured piece of art from another craftsman. I want to go to the hardware store now.

It tastes like alligator

2006-07-24T14:00:00.000-07:00

So I’m in my office and my neighbor and some other folks are talking about the chicken slaughtering plant. This is disgusting because 1) I like chicken and 2) everything that isn’t a cow or a chicken seems to taste like chicken, according to the populous of the world without a good sense of taste. I didn’t think that alligator tasted like chicken at all. Man I can digress!
So this guy is going on about the machine that beheads the chickens and says that the machine isn’t 100% effective all of the time. So there is this guy at the end of the beheading machine who job is to finish the “job”. First off how do you even interview for this job? Anyway he’s describing where this guy works and it sounds like a horror film. One light bulb is burning overhead and standing there is this guy covered in blood holding a knife. I’m not going to eat chicken for a while now. Next time I’ll tell you about the time I was attacked by a chicken.
On to a happier subject. I was introduced to Black Mountain this past week. Check out there self title for some psychedelia with hints of old synths in the background. No Satisfaction is awesome and it even has a recorder in it! Unfortunately its not in the link...check myspace for it though.

The individual tater

2006-07-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm at home in Sumter and I found something interesting. Its an individually wrapped potato but its called a potatOH! That's actually written on the front of it. I'm not sure why I find this so fascinating but I do. It's been prewashed and you can cook it in the wrapper. Twenty years ago this guy or girl was staring into the oven with a dream of a no-fuss no-muss cookable potato. God bless 'em...they found it.

And while I'm thinking about it, there is this really cool book that I found. I've always wanted to see the graphic designs of skateboarding cataloged and learn about the artist behind them. Like the screaming hand from Santa Cruz. Probably one o the first graphics that ever caught my attention. You can see why immediately. Strangely though this is just the tip of the iceberg because there were only three boards out of the hundred that I had are in here. It is more about the artists though.

I'm so proud

2006-07-21T13:58:00.000-07:00

I took the car that I got dirty to the car wash and was turned away due to the amount of mud. I had to take it to one of those self serve places and prewash it before it went to get "washed" washed. I can only equate this to having to prewash a dish before it goes into the dishwasher. What's the point of having a dishwasher if you have to wash them beforehand?

Thursday song?

2006-07-21T05:54:00.000-07:00

They never have songs written about other days of the week. Its always Friday or Saturday Night. Even my band has a song called Friday Night. The Cure touched on them all once with Friday I'm in love but the whole point of the song was that Friday was their favorite day. I kind of like Tuesday.

So I had another thought this morning about the random thoughts that come to me all the time. It started off with those really big rims that I see on these old Caprice Classics around town. They put 22's on them and while, admittedly, it looks interesting and inventive, it looks hilarious when one of those tires goes flat and then they have to put the doughnut on the car. Its actually really inventive when they take something that is totally either an old cop car or some old persons car and make it this rolling art exhibit.

But the other thing that hit me was this. I thought about when you were a kid and your imagination would run wild. A child wouldn't think twice that the cardboard box they had wasn't a plane or a fort. To them it is and they imagine what it would be like to really have that. What if they really had a plane or a castle? So I thought this morning "wouldn't it be cool if I had a talking walrus?" Now that I write it down it does sound a little crazy, but the point I'm trying to make and the question that I have is "Does imagination equal immaturity?" If it does its a sad world when you get older. What if they had told Tolkien he was immature? They probably did actually.

That mud can't be that deep...

2006-07-20T14:18:00.000-07:00

it sure as hell was! I work for the state government and one of my duties is to inspect mines. People mine clay, sand, gold, cat litter...its quite fascinating. Anyway I get to go out in the field and see if these places have properly closed their mines. I'm heading up to Rock Hill to check this place out and I finally find it. As I'm driving up I see this patch of what looked like a perfectly travelable mud hole. I didn't venture further with the truck so I got out to walk. I walk around on it and it seems pretty solid in places. I do my mine inspection and then get back into the truck. I can't see really good to back up, so I decide to go forward. Into 4 wheel drive it goes and then onward to the BBQ joint! 10 feet later I'm not moving. Tires are spinning and I realize that I'm going to be here for a while. Meanwhile I'm supposed to meet my friend James for lunch. I try rocking it back and forth proving that you can in fact dig a hole with a truck. Then there was the water that was in the saturated mud coming out and filling up the ruts. So now I'm stuck in a muddy water hole. I could call a tow truck but the caveman in me just wouldn't have it. So I call my friend James to bring a shovel so we could dig it out. Waiting around for your friend with a shovel in 95 degree weather is not the most entertaining thing in the world...its a good thing I found that dead tree and broke off a branch to dig with. Dig a little get back in the truck and try to rock it some more. I almost got it out only to find that I was stuck again in a different place. James arrives with the shovel! I dig out the wheels and try one more time. This time I just lay on the gas and completely cover the car in mud...but it finally got out! James has some pictures that I'll put up soon. Then we went off to eat some good ol' southern BBQ. I love the south...red clay and BBQ.

3 feet high and rising

2006-07-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

Finally got another blog to belt out the endless ranting that clouds my head. And thank the lord it has spellcheck!